The Guo Da Li “过大礼,” also known as the betrothal or engagement day, is a pivotal aspect of Chinese weddings. Deeply rooted in tradition, this ceremony involves life-altering decisions for both families, marked by intricate rituals and potential taboos.
Do you understand the traditional Chinese betrothal ceremony? What should be considered and avoided at this crucial moment?
Don’t worry!
We’ll detail the traditional betrothal ceremony, ensuring smooth preparations and avoiding conflicts for both families. Let’s uncover this age-old tradition for seamless wedding preparation!
First Step: Choosing an Auspicious Date
The betrothal ceremony is typically scheduled 14 to 60 days before the wedding on an auspicious date, avoiding extremes.
Reminder: Traditionally, the bride accepts the proposal after receiving betrothal gifts and wedding cakes. Therefore, wedding invitations should be sent after the betrothal ceremony. 
Second Step: Preparing Betrothal Gifts
The groom prepares betrothal gifts as per the list, and the bride reciprocates with prepared gifts.
Reminder: The groom doesn’t need to deliver wedding cakes; the cost is covered by him and sent to the bride’s home. The bride then distributes the cakes to her relatives or friends. 
Third Step: Organizing the Betrothal Team
No specific limit for the betrothal team; it should be an even number excluding the groom and elders. Elders can be good fortune lady/man “好命婆” or “好命公,” and peers like groom’s brothers assist in delivering gifts.
Reminder: The groom should avoid personal involvement in the betrothal ceremony or gift transportation to prevent symbolizing a challenging future for the couple. 
Fourth Step: Betrothal Day (Groom’s Gift Present)
On the betrothal day, the groom informs ancestors through worship before delivering gifts and money to the bride’s family. After the gift arrangement, the bride worships her family’s deities and ancestors in the main hall.
Reminder:
– The bride should wait for the gifts to be arranged before receiving them, avoiding entering the room where they are placed.
– The couple should avoid tasting any food during the betrothal ceremony to preserve their blessings. 
Fifth Step: Betrothal Day (Bride’s Return Gifts)
On the same day, the bride reciprocates with gifts, including a return gift box, responding to the groom’s gifts, and returning items like coconuts and fruits.
Afterward, the groom reenacts the betrothal ceremony, offering ancestral worship using wedding cakes in front of relatives and friends before returning home.
Reminder: The bride uses the groom’s gifts for ancestral worship, and vice versa, the groom uses the bride’s returned gifts for his ancestral worship. 
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Last updated December 18, 2024
